Wednesday

full time lovers and full time friends (missing)

Here I am. Sitting in front of the computer, and suddenly I open my old email and there I find it. An old email from my big summer love, Julien.
It's funny how masochistic we can be at times. So I decided to re-read all those emails that were once sent and replied.
And I find myself crying (haha) like an old fool because I left one love go and replaced it by another one to cover up the broken parts. What an idiot I was...
I suddenly remember how much I loved him, how I adored his fascination for me and for anything to do with me, I remember how curious we were to discover each other, how amazing was our first night holding hands, and how firmly sad was our last one. I remember every single one of his textos, his calls, and mostly his emails. He was so in love with me that I didn't realize it until months later...but it was all too late.
I never told him how much I missed him, and I still do. I miss talking to him, I miss his stories about his friends and Cactus, I miss his french voice and his sweet look, I miss his way of looking at the world through those glasses, I miss being his friend.
Maybe it's time to re-live an old friendship, if I don't do it now, I never will.

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